Sometimes, you meet someone on the lift, and it’s like you already know what their favorite trail is. “She’s such a lower Domino” or “he SCREAMS Exterminator”–sometimes, you just know…you know? It’s stereotyping akin to astrology, but of course, lacking any celestial basis. It’s just me and my vibes radar, against the world. Enjoy!
Ripcord:
If Ripcord is your favorite trail, you are hands down, 100%, non-negotiably, a middle-aged man. You are hardcore, waking your family up at the crack of dawn to get first chair, but then abandoning them as soon as Heaven’s Gate opens so you can lap your beloved double-black. You probably wear a backpack stocked with water, gatorade, and lunch, because God forbid you waste a second doing anything but lapping Ripcord. You’re a huge Creed fan, you used to have long hair, and your ski coat is probably orange.
Jester:
Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re basic. I mean, come on, who doesn’t love Jester?! And basic doesn’t mean bad, it just means relatable! You hate to run but you’re training for a marathon anyway, and you don’t know if that’s to blame for your feet always hurting in ski boots, or maybe you’ve just had the same boots for 10 years? When your group takes a pee break, you’re always hitting them with the, “while we’re here, should we just grab a quick Little Sip?” and then poof, your bathroom break has become happy hour.
Bravo:
You’re not Dad-hardcore like Ripcord, but you’re twenty-something, alpinist, owns-four-setups-for-different-conditions hardcore. You send THE sketchiest stuff and will rationalize everything with the Avy 1 cert you got in college. You don’t trust microwaves but you would ski The Church with your eyes closed. And even though you’re patrol’s worst nightmare…you somehow have never gotten injured? (Knock on wood). Please call your mom. You probably haven’t called your mom in weeks and she’s, very understandably, worried about you. Oh, and you’re definitely really good at pool, and grew up with a lab named Buddy.
Moonshine:
You keep a stack of reusable grocery bags in your trunk but always forget to bring them into the store. You order your lattes with oat milk and get whipped cream on top. Your superpower is that you always make a bangin’ playlist for the drive to the mountain, and also you LOVE karaoke. Even on the coldest days, you’re always opening your vents or wishing you had taken off a layer. Most of the time, you’ll pack your own lunch, but there is a special place in your heart for a good ole Wunderbar Schnitzel. You’re notoriously getting stuck on the lift with weirdos.
Panorama:
I’m not even convinced you like to ski…but hey, you love the views and the fresh air, so that counts for something! You’re very superstitious, always carefully announcing your two-skip to the group, before heading down to GML for a multi-course meal. Your favorite lift is Slide Brook, because it reminds you of a roller coaster (you hate roller coasters. Slidey B is enough thrill for you). The biggest struggle you have when it comes to skiing is choosing the right lenses for the day–when you choose the low-lights, the sun comes out, when you choose sunny, it rains. You’re very selfless and kind and always ask to pet people’s dogs, even if it makes you late for something.
Stein’s:
You are a third generation Sugarbush skier, and you won’t let anyone forget it. Heck, your grandmother was THE Ellen of Mt. Ellen. You can navigate Slide Brook better than your own neighborhood, and did I mention that your parents met on the Castlerock Chair? Your deepest darkest secret is that when you were little, you threw a tantrum on Spring Fling and had to be taken down in a patrol sled. You’re always hating on snowboarders, but hey, hate to break it to you, you’re totally gonna marry one…or maybe you already did!
Lift Line:
If you are a lover of Lift Line, chances are you are between the ages of 8 and 12 years old. You can’t do long division, but you’ve been dropping cliffs since Kindergarten. Brightly colored snowpants are your signature look, and, shocker, you’re a chicken tendies and french fries fiend. The worst day of your life was when Tik Tok was banned and the best was whenever the last pow day was. Classical music calms you down when you’re feeling sad, and you’re a strong proponent of the 4 day work (school?) week.
